Parent Education
Parent Education and Involvement
Explorer Elementary Charter School never could have started nor would it have survived its first years, were it not for the support and involvement of its extraordinary parent body. Parents at Explorer are ubiquitous – helping in classrooms; working in the library; serving on the Parent Council; sitting on hiring committees; organizing and planning the garden; and serving on the school’s Board of Directors. Parents are partners in their child’s education and, alongside of our faculty, form a foundation from which our school has grown and flourished. Because our parents are so highly valued, appreciated and included, their commitment seems almost without limits.
Parents at Explorer are familiar with the guidelines the teachers use for interaction with children. A fundamental tenet of the school is to only expect from our children that which we expect from ourselves. We, as the adult community, attempt to be role models of clear communication which allows for self awareness and empathy at the same time.
Parent Council
Explorer has a well-developed Parent Council whose mission is to raise funds for the school, build the school’s community and enrich programs for our students. The President of the Parent Council works closely with Explorer’s Principal, Jill Green, to ensure that Parent Council events and efforts are responsive to and supportive of school needs. For those interested in the organization’s structure and by-laws, please visit the Parent Council section of Explorer’s website.
Parent Volunteers
As a public charter school, Explorer receives extremely limited funding from the state of California, about $6,700 per student per year in 2008. Thus, from the school’s beginning, parent volunteers have provided core functions that many other schools would be able to fill through paid staff positions, including the following:
• The provision of hot lunch is coordinated by volunteer parents and the lunch is actually served by volunteers every day
• The library is staffed every day by volunteer parents, enabling our library teacher to work with students and classroom teachers
• Spanish speaking parents organized a Spanish language program, taught by native speakers in the classrooms twice a week
• Parent volunteers coordinate and implement a one-on-one reading program for children who are reading below grade level.
• Graduation videos, yearbooks, and fundraising events are all coordinated by parent volunteers.
All parents that volunteer at school must go to a training session with Explorer’s Social Curriculum Coordinator so that they are knowledgeable about important school practices: language used in the classrooms; ways to comment on children’s work; problem solving methods. With this basic training, many parents are able to model the teacher’s interactions with children and provide consistent benefit to the classroom.
“I still remember the training Tina Boughton (Explorer’s first Social Curriculum Coordinator) gave us about working in the classroom. She talked to us about ways to comment on children’s work instead of saying ‘Oh that’s a beautiful drawing”, which is evaluative language, it is preferable to notice and speak descriptively, such as “I see how your train is going through the mountain instead of around it.” It’s such a simple shift, but I saw how it really does work to open a conversation with a child. Also, the child can internalize the remark as something they have done without judgment. Too often children are motivated by praise alone. I used that idea at home with my own children from then on.”
“I speak Spanish at home to my kids and it is very important to me that they do not lose their Spanish so that’s why I volunteer to teach in the classrooms. We are all native Spanish speakers and most really care that their kids continue to be educated in Spanish.”
“We have a program that has posters and materials and lots of games and also a training video for us parent/teachers. We do it once a week for 40 minutes so it is not a huge time commitment. This year I have five native speakers in my class of 20, so I have to play it be ear, putting them in groups and making sure there are challenges for the fluent ones. I do word searches and bring in books. We play lots of games, so it is fun for them even if they are advanced.”
“I do a lot of cultural things with the kids, like Dio de los Muertos and Mexican food. We all know that the only real way to become fluent is by immersion, but this just gives them an exposure.”
On serving lunch: “they’ve got it organized so we only volunteer one day a month. It’s a great way to meet the kids. It’s quick and you get a free meal!”
Parent-teacher relationships
Parents are an integral part of Explorer’s community. Teachers are always receptive to communicate closely with our parent body. Informal meetings occur daily as parents flood our hallways after school. Faculty is intentional about relationships with families. Whereas meaningful relationships develop naturally, teachers are also thoughtful about appropriate professional boundaries. Teachers understand the importance of the role they play in a child’s life and take that responsibility very seriously.
Explorer teachers are embraced by the parent body as a whole. The school culture of recognizing and expressing gratitude and appreciation reverberates through the parent community as well as the children. Over the years, the parents’ once a year faculty appreciation lunch has now grown into a year-long series of breakfasts, lunches, gifts, appreciation notes, even end-of-the day cheese and wine snacks, all coordinated by the Parent Council.
When Explorer first began, our founding Social Curriculum Coordinator not only ran parent education programs, but set very clear standards for interactions. These standards are based in honesty, openness, self awareness and confronting difficult conversations with mutual understanding and the goal of resolution. In this way, the typical anxiety and gossiping that may occur in schools is avoided. At the beginning of each year, in new parent meetings, parent council meetings, and or trainings for parents wanting to volunteer in classrooms, Tina always gave her “triangling” speech, which has now become a part of the Explorer thinking and behavior. She described “If three people make up a triangle of A, B, C, when A is angry at B, it is so much easier, less frightening, and gratifying to vent the anger to C. Yet B never hears what the problem is, and A and B never have the opportunity to work their problem out. So, difficult as it may be, A should always speak directly to B.
Although there are many dimensions to parent teacher relationships at Explorer, the “no triangling rule” is first and foremost. According to Principal Jill Green, when there is tension between parents and teachers, “the first thing I do is make sure they are talking directly to each other. If it is helpful or makes one or another party feel safer, I will be present as well, but often just the reinforcement of how important it is to be direct is enough.”
“Our goal is to challenge ourselves to be always open to hearing concerns in order to do the very best we can for our students and families. We avoid side conversations and strive for direct and clear communication”
“Because parents fully understand the commitment of our faculty and because we set clear models for speaking and listening effectively, problems are generally resolved positively.”
Parents and Curriculum
The curriculum at Explorer Elementary is conceived of and constructed by the faculty. Parents trust that the teachers are committed to their children’s best interests in all areas. Parent suggestions are reflected upon carefully and it is understood that decisions about content in the classroom are made by the faculty and administration. At Explorer Elementary we believe that issues that are sensitive for families should not be brought forth in the classroom but rather responded to if conversations arise. We respect the family’s right to have discussions with their children about issues that might cause concern. For this reason, on September 11, the school dedicated an arch for peace rather than discuss the actual event. Parents are included and listened to but the faculty takes responsibility for the student’s academic life.
Parent Education
Since its inception, Explorer has had Monday morning drop-in parent meetings every week. During its first years, when the school was smaller, these meetings were essentially a parenting group, facilitated by Tina Boughton, a family therapist.
“What resonated most for me from those Monday morning meetings was a sense of self-forgiveness. That nobody gets it right all the time with parenting and you could try a different strategy next time and not beat yourself up about it.”
As the school grew these meetings have become more educational. They are led by outside specialists who come into the school to present information and facilitate discussion on specific topics related to child development and parenting. For example, in the last year parent education sessions have included a six week book club on How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and How to Listen so Kids Will Talk; a three week session on “Redirecting Children’s Behavior”; a six week session on Sibling Rivalry also using the Faber and Mazlich book, Siblings Without Rivalry; and a several week session on parenting during times of crisis or stress. These meetings also include time with our Social Curriculum Coordinator who talks with parents about the social and emotional learning approaches used in classrooms to make a bridge between school and home.
At various times throughout the year, Explorer offers evening meetings for parents on Explorer’s educational philosophies and how they can be reinforced at home. The school also has Dads’ nights and Moms’ nights which address a variety of topics including conflict over parenting styles within the family. Below are copies of some of the handouts prepared for those parenting meetings. These draw on the same sources that Explore uses to develop materials for teachers, but have been changed slightly to be more useful for parents.
Recognizing Instinctive Reflexive Responses
Adapted from Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
Learning to recognize when you’re reacting rather than thinking in response to a given situation is the first step. Which of the following 4 common reactions are most typical for you?
• Striking Back- When you feel threatened you might find yourself attacking back—If not physically you may let loose with words that escalate in tone and harshness.
• Giving In- The opposite of striking back. Exhaustion from persistence by the child can cause this—However resentment often grows from giving in, which can lead to striking back.
• Shutting Down- Being flooded by emotion freezes you. You are unable to respond. You can’t think, feel helpless. You fear that there is nothing you can do to make things better.
• Breaking Off- Throwing up your hands, saying “I can’t deal with you.” “I don’t want to be with you.” The message to the child is that there is a wish to sever the relationship in some form.
The Role of Language
How parents and teachers talk tells a child how they feel about him.
Their statements affect his self-esteem and self-worth.
To a large extent, their language determines his destiny.
-- Haim Ginott
Guidelines for Spoken Interactions with Children
• Use a calm voice.
• Use questions whenever possible. Questions require the child to process ideas as opposed to passive listening. “What do you think the problem is? How can we solve this problem?”
• Make sure limits statements are clearly defined and understood. (See Guidelines for Limits Statements)
• Avoid using labels when referring to behavior, e.g. “bad,’ “noisy.” Language that is descriptive is more effective, e.g. “You’re using a loud voice today. I need you to use a quieter voice?”
• Make statements in positive, rather than negative form -- “Your laundry goes in the hamper.” Rather than “Don’t leave your laundry on the floor.” This practice is more direct and clear about the expected behavior.
• Think about the timing of your statements. Reminding, Redirecting, Reinforcing. Be sure that the bulk of the responsibility for resolving problems rests with the child. You are there to guide. With enough work in practicing effective interactions, the child will have the resources to resolve most problems. Give them support to put their skills to use as independently as possible.
The 3 R’s
(Reminding, Redirecting, Reinforcing)
In order to develop and meet familial and social expectations, children need feedback. Timing can be key. At times the feedback comes in the form of statements about what they have achieved (Reinforcing). At other times children need support to remember expectations (Reminding). Children also need specific, directive help to make positive choices (Redirecting)
Below are some statements that can be used for a variety of situations.
Reinforcing:
• “I see you remembered to clean your room. It really looks great.”
• “I saw you help your brother when he was ______________. I’m sure he appreciated it.”
• “It looks like you worked hard on your homework tonight. I’m sure you’ll be proud to turn that in tomorrow.”
Reminding:
• “It’s time to get in the car. Tell me again what we agreed on about how we behave in the car.”
• “Its getting late and we have had talks about what your responsibility is about homework. Tell me again what you need to do so you can finish your work in time for bed.”
Redirecting:
• “The two of you are playing too roughly in the house. Your choices are to go outside with that game or choose something more calm for in the house.”
