Social Intelligence and Academic Learning

Human beings are social, emotional, physical, and intellectual beings. We know that these aspects of being human are intricately linked and that to fully educate a child, we need to address and attend to all four. If we focus solely on a child’s intellectual growth, not only are we ignoring three crucial aspects of that child’s development, we also diminish the child’s full intellectual potential.

To learn effectively, children must come to understand themselves and their emotions. They must develop strategies for managing their emotions, understanding how they feel and that they have some power to work with their feelings. We teach them strategies to calm themselves, to recognize their emotions, and to express emotions to others in acceptable ways.

We also want children to understand themselves within the context of their community – their family, classroom, and society as a whole. They must understand how to relate to others in effective ways. We help them learn to have empathy, to communicate effectively with others and to resolve conflicts.

These skills are intimately linked to academic and intellectual development. We believe that all learning begins with the self and moves outwards. If children can think about themselves and their relationships to others in complex and meaningful ways, they will more easily make the transition to understanding complex relationships in math, literature, and history.

The last decade has seen scientific studies of emotion which are glimpses of the brain at work through innovative methods such as new brain imaging technologies. They have made visible for the first time what has been intuited about emotions and interaction. This neurological data lets us understand more clearly than ever how the brain’s centers for emotion move us toward feelings and are affected by social interaction.

We believe that a socially intelligent child is a child who is cognizant of her own feelings and her impact on others. This child can communicate feelings and create effective solutions in interactions. She can manage her impulses, adapt to complex and changing life experiences, and care about herself and others. In such interactions, it has been documented that the brain structure changes, leading to more flexibility and attention.

At Explorer, we have seen that the awareness of self and others that is created through the school’s social curriculum has profound academic impacts. In writing, for example, children find and use their authentic voice. In history, children see and analyze differing perspectives. In science, children analyze a problem, hypothesize a solution, and test the solution with evidence – the same way we teach them to solve a problem on the playground. Just as in social and emotional development, rote academic learning can be superficial and fleeting. Learning, both emotional and cognitive, that is rooted in rigorous analysis of self, others, texts, and data can be longer lasting, deeper and flexible.

Social and Emotional Skills Taught at Explorer	Related Academic and Intellectual Skill
Self-awareness Ability to give an “I message”	Authentic voice in writing fiction or non-fiction Confidence to participate in classroom discussions
Second Step Problem Solving Strategy: Identify the problem Brainstorm solutions Try one Evaluate its effectiveness Try another if necessary	Scientific method Using proofs in math Supporting assertions with evidence in expository writing Analyzing conflict in history or literature
Empathy	Identifying multiple perspectives in history and literature

Over the past five years, more and more research has been conducted on social and emotional learning in schools. A forthcoming review of over 200 studies of such programs found significant improvements in students’ behaviors and academic achievement in schools that implement such programs, especially when they are implemented by classroom teachers and reach into all aspects of a child’s school experience. (The Effects of Social and Emotional Learning on the Behavior and Academic Learning of School Children, Durak, et al., forthcoming from the Collaborative for Social and Emotional Learning, 2008.)

A recent (2005) study by Heydenbark and Heydenbark, of children learning conflict resolution skills in Philadelphia public schools shows how such skills relate to academic learning and mirrors the experience of Explorer Elementary teachers. In the Philadephia study, children participating in conflict resolution program over a period of years scored significantly higher in “meta cognitive” competencies. This study shows
what we see every day at Explorer -- that social and emotional learning develops children’s “meta cognitive” skills, i.e. their ability to “think about thinking”. When a young child is able to stop and reflect upon why her friend’s behavior is hurting or angering her and to put those understandings into words that express her own feelings (rather than hitting the friend or calling her a name), she is actually developing the same meta cognitive skills required to assess and explain her response to a text (rather than just saying ‘I liked it’.) When a child learns to solve a playground problem by brainstorming possible solutions, trying them out, and then assessing them, he is learning the same meta cognitive skills required to test a hypothesis and use evidence to support a position.

Weaving Social Curriculum into the Day

When we first starting speaking with teachers about documenting Explorer’s practices, Stacey Stevenson, one of Explorer’s first grade teachers, stressed how interwoven academic and social learning is at Explorer.

“We need to find a way to capture the many small interactions that make up the culture of the school: brainstorming strategies together (in the classroom) to solve a dilemma about blurting; postponing a math lesson because children need to have a meeting about hurtful behavior at lunch and can’t focus on math at that moment…Discussions about differing levels of skills and understanding and the confidence that comes from trying things that seem too hard… because they feel safe in the classroom. The opportunity to share strategies in math, stories in Writer’s Workshop and work together in Social studies and along the way work out all of the issues that go along with cooperative learning.”

Mindful Practices

In the beginning of Explorer’s eighth year, when the flood of visitors and requests for our academic practices kept growing, and the prospect of new elementary schools modeled after Explorer began to seem like a reality, our faculty came together to meet an interesting challenge. We knew we had an incredible consistency of approaches in our classrooms and in the language we use with children, yet these approaches were created from so many different sources, that we realized we did not have clear and easy ways of articulating them to those outside our school community.

As a faculty, we took some time to study the idea of “habits of mind.” We looked at habits of mind as articulated by Ted Sizer, Debbie Meier, the Boston Arts Academy, and Arthur Costa and Benna Kallick. Our challenge to ourselves was to draw out the implicit habits of mind that we valued in our daily practice – and especially those that brought together academic and social intelligence.

The process was illuminating, partly because there was so much agreement – four groups of teachers came up with almost identical practices, though sometimes expressed in different words.

Mindful Practices
Of Explorer Elementary Charter School

Independence/Interdependence
ο community
ο connection
ο multiple perspectives
ο empathy
ο contribution

Mindfulness
ο reflection
ο analysis
ο observation/evidence/proof
ο flexibility
ο thinking before acting (impulse control)

Voice
ο ownership
ο risk-taking
ο self-awareness
ο communication

Imagination
ο creativity
ο ingenuity
ο hypothesis

Inquiry
ο unanswered questions
ο perplexity
ο curiosity

The next day, one of our Special Education teachers, Patima Pataramekin, drew this beautiful tree, which is now a mural on one of our hallway walls, reminding us how interconnected all of these practices are.

 

Second Step

Since Explorer’s inception, the school has used Second Step, a violence-prevention curriculum developed by the Committee for Children (www.cfchildren.org), in Seattle, Washington. Second Step helps integrate social and emotional concerns into weekly lessons and activities that become increasingly complex at each grade level. The videos, activities and role-playing help children develop skills in recognizing emotions in themselves and others, empathy, impulse control, problem solving and anger management. Through a combination of affective and cognitive inquiry, the program builds both skills and understandings in a cumulative, multi-year process.

In various years, Explorer has taught Second Step within classrooms by classroom teachers or as a once a week pull-out class. Either way, all teachers are very familiar with the program and use the strategies throughout the day. For example, as early as Kindergarten, Explorer children learn the Second Step problem-solving methodology, which is commonly seen posted in classrooms throughout the school.

Problem Solving Steps
Calm yourself- take 5 deep breaths.
Identify the problem.
Develop solutions to the problem
Questions about the solutions include:
Is it safe?
Is it fair?
Will it work?
Choose a solution.
Evaluate the effectiveness of the solution.
Choose another if necessary.

In a handout given to teachers and parents by Zoltan Sarda, Explorer Elementary’s Social Curriculum Coordinator, the following suggestions are added:

“Be sure that the majority of the responsibility for solving the problems lies with the child - you are the guide, but they must process the information through dialogue with you. You can be the model for these steps - show the children what it looks like to calm yourself. Show them how to develop solutions to a problem. This is not a time to be directive - be more reflective… “The way I see that idea is ______. I might try ________________ instead.”

Morning Meeting and Other Classroom Routines

Every class at Explorer begins their day with a morning meeting. The concept of a morning meeting has been used by many teachers in many places, and has been most beautifully developed and codified by the Northeast Foundation for Children. At Explorer, the morning meeting is the primary strategy for developing social and emotional learning in the classroom. Each teacher develops their own format, but they all start with some form of greeting, each member of the community is greeted and welcomed. There is often a forum for stating appreciations for others, and there is a portion of the meeting devoted to what’s happening that day. The students often also play some sort of game that helps develop teamwork, cooperation and communication. The meetings often end with some sort of discussion focused on problem solving, developing an understanding of others, planning or self expression. Some of the many purposes of morning meeting include:

• Forming trusting relationships that allow students to work together effectively.

• Development of teacher-child, child-teacher, and child-child relationships.

• Forming a classroom identity.

• Establishing routines and norms.

• Developing collaborative strategies - explicit teaching of how to work together.

• Developing the concept of the role of the individual in relation to the group.

• Developing community

• Building empathy

• Developing concentration skills, attending to conversations

• Problem solving

• Planning - giving voice to children’s ideas

• Modeling and imitation of appropriate social skills and behaviors

• Developing communication skill

Morning Meeting is a venue for establishing what is expected of the members of the community. From verbal interactions to maintaining the classroom to attitudes about learning and academic work - these can all be defined, agreed upon, and fine-tuned at morning meeting. Morning meeting can be especially helpful for students who are English language learners or whose home life includes limited language interactions for other reasons. The repetitive, appreciative, and playful aspects of morning meeting help orient children to every day language and customs in a low-stress way.

Classroom meeting times are devoted to many “getting to know you” activities. The activities are encouraging, engaging and allow for full participation by all students.

Meetings can include activities such as:

Personal interview activities
Name Origins
Sharing
Artifact in a bag
Special news from the weekend
Charts and Graphs:
“How Many Teeth Have You Lost?”
“How Many People in Your Family?”
What Pets Do We Have?”
Favorite Color

Teachers can model expectations for conducting these activities by being the subject of interviews, bringing in personal sharing, and talking about important events in their own lives. It allows the students to make a personal connection to the teacher, and allows the teacher to model for students how a particular type of presentation is done effectively (showing artifacts, voice modulation, animation, etc.). The Morning Meeting Book, written by Roxann Kriete and published by the Northeast Foundation for Children, is a wonderful resource for teachers which includes many specific meeting activities and games, including those that are better for younger and older students, and for English language learners.

Creating a classroom contract

Early in the year many Explorer teachers work with students to develop a contract that is posted in the classroom that outlines the expectations for behaviors and attitudes that will allow for a productive year of learning. Some teachers introduce this lesson with a code of conduct that they have created for themselves. This document may look something like:

I am a teacher who:
Works hard to make learning interesting.
Knows and understands my students’ needs.
Gives students feedback about their work.
Is polite and kind.
Uses a calm and quiet voice when speaking to my students.
Reads to my students every day.

After brainstorming with the class about what they expect of themselves and each other, the teacher helps the students create a contract. Behaviors and attitudes are all phrased in the positive.

We Are A Class Who:
Works hard to learn
Treats each other with respect
Cares about every person in the class
Helps each other
Keeps our classroom and school neat and cared for
Is excited about our accomplishments
Makes sure everyone contributes and participates

When Explorer moved into its permanent site after years of effort, each class contributed a line to the following school wide contract, which was read by students at the first all-school gathering in our new home:

We Are A School Who:
Values friendships and learns lessons for life.
Treats each other with honesty.
Accepts people for who they are.
Never gives up.
Who has hopes, dreams, and goals.
Respects people’s feelings.
All get along.
Stays together.
Cares about each other.
Respects our friends’ opinions.
Says “Nice Try” when someone gets out at Four Square.
Loves our teachers
Respects others’ things.
Works hard.

Each teacher at Explorer individualizes the process of creating classroom norms. The common feature is that all students participate and see their thoughts and voices reflected in the final consensus. In fifth grade, since the children are studying early U.S. history, teacher Ashley Carrico spends the first day of school brainstorming with her new students to create a “Classroom Constitution.”

We the noble, knowledgeable scholars of Explorer Elementary School, in order to form a caring and compassionate environment, will establish a peaceful place, devoted to learning and growing together. We will insure equal respect for everyone in a place where we can laugh and have fun, but still remain serious about our work. We will provide encouragement, warm hearts and open arms and promote an environment that respects differing opinions and ideas. We will encourage taking risks and expanding our minds through exploration and thinking outside of the box. We will make certain that ideas are voiced and voices are heard. We together do ordain and establish this Classroom Constitution for the fifth grade scholars in Mrs. Carrico’s classroom.

Articles
Section 1 – We are a classroom who takes responsibility for our actions and learns from our mistakes.
Section 2 – We are a classroom who respects our differences and sets those differences aside when needed.
Section 3 – We are a classroom who gives 100% and tries to accomplish our goals without giving up.
Section 4 – We are a classroom who laughs and has fun together.
Section 5 – We are a classroom who listens to messages people give.
Section 6 – We are a classroom who expands our minds and thinks outside of the box.
Section 7 – We are a classroom who communicates and works together to make the world a better place.

When problems occur in classroom, teachers use morning meeting to resolve them. Teachers and students follow the same guidelines for conflict resolution that they have learned in Second Step, integrating them into their specific classroom context:
Define the problem.
Brainstorm solutions.
Evaluate the ideas - Do they fit our “We Are A Class Who?” Chart?
Choose a solution.
Evaluate the outcomes. If needed- choose another solution.

In addition to morning meeting, Explorer teacher use many other methods to engage children in taking responsibility for how the classroom runs and feels, such as:

Recording ideas on charts about specific behaviors or tasks that will help the classroom run smoothly.

Create rubrics defining specific procedures. Keeping track of scores helps give a view toward long term trends.

Setting goals- “We are going to try to have 30 cleanups that are either a 2 or a 3.”

Monitoring progress- How are we doing? Noting what is good - Noting what needs improvement - Creating an environment in which children feel comfortable talking about what they could do better.

The Role of Language

This fall, Explorer parents are participating in a book group, reading Arlene Faber and Elaine Mazlich’s classic book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and How to Listen so Kids Will Talk. This book, and the subsequent one written especially for teachers has been an invaluable resource for our school. All Explorer teachers have read the book. We have found that the strategies in it, though seemingly very simple, such as “phrase suggestions in the positive rather than the negative,” are incredibly powerful. For example, below is a hand out written by Explorer’s Social Curriculum Coordinator, given to teachers at an in-service at the beginning of the year.

Guidelines for Spoken Interactions with Children

• Use a calm voice.
• Use questions whenever possible.  Questions require the child to process ideas as opposed to passive listening.  “It’s time for math.  What materials do you need to have on your desk?”  “You are going out to recess now and there have been some problems with four square.  What can you do today to solve the problem?” 
• Make sure limits statements are clearly defined and understood.  “At meeting, we all sit up and focus on the person who is speaking.”  At times it is helpful to model or have children model the expectations.
• Avoid using labels when referring to behavior, e.g. “bad,’  “naughty.” Language that is descriptive is more effective, e.g. “You’re using a loud voice today.  Can you quiet it down?”
• Make statements in positive, rather than negative form --  “The markers go in the basket,” rather than “ Don’t leave the markers on the table.’
• Avoid making comparisons between children, or between classes.
• Think about the timing of your statements.  A reminding statement

before going out to recess is more valuable than a reviewing statement after recess about something that happened on the playground.

• Be sure that the bulk of the responsibility for resolving problems rests with the child.   With enough work in meetings, with Second Step, and with individual discussions the students will have the resources to resolve most problems.  Give them support to put their skills to use as independently as possible.

Children at Explorer also learn a common language which helps them negotiate difficult situations. As early as kindergarten, Explorer children practice how to give an “I message” – a way to tell another child or an adult about how a particular behavior or situation is making them feel, without accusing or blaming. Children are able to give these messages to each other individually, and teachers make space for such messages in classroom meetings whenever it is needed. A common sight in the Principal’s office is one or more children coming to say they want to give a “message” to the school at an all school gathering -- which could be about anything from exclusionary clubs, things happening in bathrooms, or playground activities.

In their academic discussions, Explorer students learn how to express their ideas in ways that are respectful and related to the group. Teachers use the concept of a ‘scholarly circle”, which introduces several different ways that children can add their thoughts to a discussion, such as:

I didn’t know that…
I’d like to add…
Does anyone know…
I figured out that…
I’m confused about…
This reminds me of…
Another way to look at this is…
I agree/disagree with ____ because…
The reason I think ….
What I heard you say is….

Though these perhaps seem contrived, they help children learn intelligent ways of communicating, listening, and connecting with the thoughts of others. Children are not bound to start their comments in these ways, but when they see this kind of language modeled and are able to practice it themselves, they come to understand how a healthy group discussion can deepen the understanding of the individuals and the whole group.

Rubrics and Rewards

Recently, in preparation for a large group of visitors to our school, our social curriculum coordinator did a brief (nonscientific) survey of Explorer children across all grade levels. The questions he asked were “Is it OK to hit someone?” and “Why”? The survey took place early in the school year. Of course they all said no to the first question, but the second question was the most interesting. Of the children who were new to Explorer, 70% said, “because you will get in trouble” or “they will hit you back”. Children who had been at Explorer for several years overwhelmingly (80%) answered “because you will hurt them” or “it’s mean.”

The children’s responses are a perfect illustration of why our faculty tries to avoid extrinsic rewards and punishments and to focus instead on helping children build their own internal motivation. For those children who are not hitting because of an external punishment or reaction, what happens when the external response is not there? We say “tries” to avoid, because we also all realize that extrinsic reward systems are deeply ingrained in all of us because of the schools we all went to and the world we live in. Many, many faculty conversations, both in full staff meetings and between individuals revolve around ways to manage the classroom without reverting to rewards and punishment.

We also must engage our parents in this effort. There have been countless episodes at Explorer, where volunteer parents, with all of the best intentions, have set up events where classes who turn in all their pledges, for example, get an ice cream party. As in any school, teachers confront very different parenting styles with regard to rewards and punishments. The following handout, adapted from Alfie Kohn, is used by the Explorer’s Social Curriculum Coordinator in parent education sessions.

Why Punishment Fails Adapted from “Unconditional Parenting” by Alfie Kohn   It makes children angry   It models the use of power Children learn that when someone (their parent)  has a problem, they try to solve the problem by using power.  It teaches that might makes right.   It eventually loses its effectiveness As children become older, it becomes more difficult to find consequences that will be sufficiently unpleasant. Once the use of punishment is no longer effective, there is nothing left to rely on—if punishment has been the primary tool.   It erodes our relationships with our kids It changes their view of us from allies to enforcers.   It distracts children from the important issues It focuses the attention on the punishment, or on the punisher, rather than on the self, or on the effects of the behavior.   It makes children more self centered The focus is on the punishment, and on the effects on the self—“How will I be affected personally by my actions?” rather than “What effect is this behavior going to have on _________?”

Recently, one of Explorer’s teachers shared an interesting episode with fellow teachers.
A kindergarten child from a family without many resources to buy expensive toys was found by an aide putting classroom Legos into his backpack. The aide brought the child to the teacher and the following conversation ensued:

Teacher: You really want those Legos, don’t you?
Child: Yes.
Teacher: Can you see a problem with taking them home?
Child: Yes, because other kids can’t play with them and also it’s wrong because it’s stealing.
Teacher: Well, I think you should be able to take them home, as long as you ask me and you promise to bring them back. Do you have something to ask me?
Child: Can I take the Legos home?
Teacher:Yes. When will you bring them back?
Child: I will bring them back on Monday.

Post script to this story: the child brought the Legos back after the weekend. Other children wanted to take Legos home and bring them back, and are now able to. Sometimes they forget to bring them back, so the children came up with a rule that if a child forgets to return the Legos, he or she cannot borrow any more until the first ones have been returned to the classroom.

One important method of avoiding punishment and developing intrinsic motivation is the use of rubrics, created by the children, for processes that a class is working on improving. Explorer children are comfortable with rubrics from a very early age, because we use them in academic work. In academic work, rubrics are often defined externally (based on state curriculum frameworks). In classroom and group behavior, the teacher facilitates a group discussion to define what various levels of success look like. As we have all seen in our own lives, kids work harder when they are living up to standards that they themselves have set.

Patricia Lim, a fourth grade teacher describes the process of developing a rubric for the class lining up for transitions from one place in the school to another,
“I mentioned in a meeting that I noticed problems with lining up. Then we had a discussion about what the kids were noticing. The children brainstormed what the process of lining up to go to recess or lunch SHOULD look like. Those descriptions, which I wrote up on the wall, became our number #3 in the rubric – “meets standard”, (we always start with #3). Then we described what a #2 would be -- “approaching standard”-- and then a #1. Finally we talked about what a really fantastic lining up process -- “exceeding standard”-- would look like and that became our #4.

Below are two examples of rubrics – one created by children on the very concrete process of cleaning up and the other created by the teacher on the much more difficult to define process of positive interactions.

Clean Up Rubric Created by First Grade Students   4- Everyone helps clean up The room is cleaned quickly. Students are calm and quiet as they put things away Everyone comes quietly to the rug when finished. The teacher gives zero reminders   3- Almost everyone works well The room is cleaned quickly Most people are calm and quiet as they put things away Everyone comes to the rug when the room is clean The teacher gave 1 reminder   2- There is a lot of noise It takes a long time to get finished Students may not be calm enough The room is not completely cleaned The teacher gives two or three reminders   1- The room is not cleaned Many students are forgetting their jobs It does not feel calm The teacher has given more than 3 reminders

Sample Rubric for positive interactions 1 Students are using helpful statements when speaking with each other. Many positive thoughts are heard. The tone of conversations is positive People are actively listening to each other It is obvious from the talk that the students care about each other. 2 Most conversations are positive and helpful Arguments are quickly resolved Students sound mostly respectful of each other and the adults in the room One or two reminders may be given to remember to be more positive in language and tone 3 Some hurtful statements are heard Students may laugh or mock others for mistakes or differences Arguments do not end quickly and positively The tone of conversations is sometimes disdainful 4 Many students are using hurtful language. It sounds as if the students do not genuinely care for each other Students are made to feel put down or hurt by the use of language

 

At times individual students need more immediate methods to help them manage their behavior. For students who are not ready to cope with group expectations, we have developed methods for learning to find appropriate alternatives within the classroom and school community. Especially with younger students, Explorer teachers have had success with using punch cards. Below is an example of a letter home to parents explaining an agreement between a teacher and a child about using a punch card.

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

I spoke with Mr. Sarda today about how I try to be in control sometimes. I try to be in control by:

1. Telling people what to do.
2. Giving bossy messages.
3. Giving hard stares.
4. Crying when people don’t do what I want them to do. It makes them feel sad.

I am going to try to get better at this by using Punch Cards. For the first week I am going to concentrate on not giving bossy messages or crying when people don’t do what I want them to do.

On the Punch Card there are 7 times a day when I am going to work on it. If I don’t give a bossy message or cry for that time, I will get a hole punched in my card. Mr. Sarda and I think it would be a good goal to get 15 punches for the first week. We will make it harder later, and we will add the hard stares and telling people what to do later. Mr. Sarda and I talked about how I can make an arrangement to do something special with you if I get the 15 punches.
Love,

 

A Word about Character Education

Visitors to our school, upon learning of Explorer’s focus on social and emotional intelligence, often remark, “Oh, yes, I’ve heard of that, but we call it character education.” Many of us who work at Explorer have spent time either as parents or teachers in schools with character education programs and so we understand how deeply different this approach is from the practices of Explorer. Character education programs can vary widely, but they often take the form of teaching children about core ethical values or character attributes, such as honesty, integrity, responsibility. While certainly not true of all character education programs, one risk is that when these attributes are defined by adults and learned, sometimes rotely, by the children, they may not have a lasting impact.

In contrast, the many social and academic learning practices used by Explorer, including Second Step, classroom meetings, contracts, and rubrics, are based on the belief that all learning starts with the self and moves outward. If children are aware of their own feelings and how the behavior of others influences them, they can then more readily see how their behavior affects others. When children understand themselves, and their role in the group, they can create their own definitions of what is right and wrong which are deeply felt and rooted in experience.

Recent neurobiological and experimental research is leading to a consensus among scientists of various disciplines that moral behavior, such as helping others in need or not hurting innocent people, may not be learned primarily through direct instruction from parents and teachers, but instead is instinctive and probably has evolutionary roots in survival of the species. Explorer’s approach is to identify these instincts and help children reflect upon and practice them.

Though Explorer teachers do not often practice direct instruction about particular character attributes, they do give children many opportunities to practice appreciations, gratitude, and kindness. Almost every morning meeting includes appreciations (as do faculty meetings). In Amy Araiza’s third grade class, “Secret Santa” at holiday time was replaced with “secret buddies” where each child came up with three appreciations of another student. The class spent some time talking about the difference between “one size fits all” appreciations such as “you are nice” as compared to more individualized appreciations, such as “I like how you play with little kids at recess.”

In Zoltan Sarda’s Kindergarten class, a younger sibling was born recently. As a project with 4th grade buddies, the children read On the Day You Were Born and created a book modeled after it, with a wish or hope for the baby’s future on each page. One observer remarked that many classes of children would not be able to come up with so many kind thoughts for a baby. Zoltan’s response: “They would if they got to practice doing it every day.”